Missing
by Cutthroat Pixie
Summary: Spain/Romano: I didn't think missing you could hurt so much.


Pairing/Characters: Spain/Romano  
Note: More birfday fic for counterheist/kixboxer I aint even sorry

* * *

_Please, please, forgive me  
But I won't be home again_

Four days, thirteen hours, and seven minutes. It had been four days, thirteen hours, and seven— no eight— minutes since Antonio had last spoken to Lovino. It was slowly killing him, not hearing from his boyfriend. The love of his life. His soulmate. Surely there had been a time in his life where he could go more than a few hours without speaking to Lovino, but... he honestly didn't remember what it was like. Not seeing him at school everyday, not walking home together, not staying up all night together in some way, be it in person or on the phone.

_Maybe someday you'll look up  
And barely conscious, you'll say to no one  
"Isn't something missing?" _

That hadn't been happening lately, though. Not in nearly five days. It was driving Antonio crazy. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to call Lovino, write him, message him somehow, but he didn't even know how to get in contact with him. He'd tried calling his cellphone the first night, but the line went straight to voicemail. Wherever he was, it was very possible he was either unable to speak to Antonio or...

_You won't cry for my absence, I know  
You forgot me long ago_

Or he just didn't want to.

_Am I that unimportant?  
Am I so insignificant? _

He pulled out his phone and texted [I miss you] for probably the hundredth time since Lovino had left. [I wish you would respond! :(]

_Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me? _

He didn't know what he'd done wrong, but not a single message he'd sent had been answered. No hellos, no I miss you toos, nothing. He didn't really expect any messages like that, not really, maybe more random complaints or a few messages about how his day was going, but he hadn't even gotten those.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_  
_You won't try for me, not now  
Though I'd die to know you love me  
I'm all alone  
Isn't someone missing me? _

Could it be that Lovino was having such a good time he'd just forgotten all about him? Maybe he was having the time of his life, wherever it was he'd gone off to, and all thoughts of Antonio had completely slipped his mind. If he missed Antonio as much as Antonio missed him, surely he would have called to let him know?

_Please, please, forgive me  
But I won't be home again_

He tossed his phone onto the floor and rolled over on his bed, letting his face press into his pillow. Lovino had spent the night a couple nights before he left, and if Antonio inhaled deeply enough, he could almost imagine Lovino's scent was still clinging to the fabric of his pillow case. He'd skipped washing it when his mother had done the wash yesterday, just to have something of Lovino to cling to in those moments where he missed him most.

_I know what you do to yourself  
I breathe deep and cry out_

If only he knew when he'd be able to see Lovino again, then maybe it would make the wait a little less painful.

_"Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me? "_

He'd tried just not thinking about it. Tried to keep going on about his days like everything was normal, but the fact was that nothing was the same without Lovino around. School appeared to be just as boring as everyone said it was without Lovino sitting next to him and stealing all his pens. Skipping class was even worse, because although he had other friends who were more than happy to go for a walk or get some pizza with him, nothing compared to having Lovino's hand in his own as they snuck out through the hole in the fence behind the school and set off for an adventure that was really nothing more than a few hours of wasted time.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice  
You won't try for me, not now_

Gilbert had told him to get over it. Francis had said it would get easier with time. Antonio knew he couldn't, and that it really, definitely would not get any easier, because being without Lovino just seemed to get harder and more painful as the days went on.

_Though I'd die to know you love me  
I'm all alone_

If only he could—

_Isn't someone missing me? _

"Hey, Antonio!"

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed  
Knowing you don't care_

Antonio jumped when his sister called for him and started beating on the door. "Turn whatever that is off and come get the phone!"

_And if I sleep just to dream of you_

"I'm busy, Mari!" He really just didn't have the heart to get up and speak to whoever it was on the other end of the line. Not if it wasn't—

_I'll wake without you there_

"It's Lovino. Stop moping and come talk to him."

_Isn't something missing? _

Surely he couldn't be hearing right, or Mariana was playing a trick on him, but that didn't stop Antonio from rushing over to the door and grabbing the phone from his sister as fast as he could.

_Isn't something_

"Lovino?!"

"Hey jackass."

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_  
_You won't try for me, not now_

Antonio could have cried. It really was Lovino on the other end of the line. He'd been dreaming of this moment ever since they were parted and now it was coming true.

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

"Lovino! How have you been? I've been trying to call you, but—"

_I'm all alone_

"But you're a dumbass and haven't been calling the right number? Your sister called me and said you've been lying around listening to some crap on repeat and crying about how I wouldn't answer your calls."

_Isn't something missing? _

"Well you wouldn't."

_Isn't someone missing me? _

"My cellphone doesn't work while I'm out of the country."

"...Oh." Antonio vaguely recalled a conversation about this. Very vaguely.

_Please, please, forgive me  
But I won't be home again_

"And I gave you my aunt's house number, which you clearly haven't been calling."

_Maybe someday you'll look up  
And barely conscious, you'll say to no one_

He also vaguely, maybe, sort of recalled Lovino writing something down on a piece of paper for him the other night after their little sleepover.

_"Isn't something missing?" _

"And— seriously, what the hell are you listening to?"

_You won't cry for my absence, I know_

Antonio looked over at his laptop, which had been blasting the same song for the past few... hours? days? and let out a nervous laugh. "Uh, Gilbert sent it to me and said it really fit my mood, but I don't think it really does. Not really."

_You forgot me long ago_

"So why are you still listening to it?"

_Am I that unimportant? _

"I can't get it to turn off. Whenever I try to get it to skip to the next song, it just plays again!"

_Am I so insignificant? _

The other end of the line was silent and Antonio almost thought for a minute that maybe he was dreaming and Lovino hadn't really called him, but then a groan coming through the phone let him know that Lovino was still there (or the dream was continuing, at the very least). "You set your music player on repeat again."

_Isn't something missing? _

"I did? Well I guess that explains it."

_Isn't someone missing me? _

"Look up at the top."

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

"The top?"

_You won't try for me, not now_

Antonio almost thought he could hear Lovino roll his eyes, but that would have been extremely silly. "Of your music player. Where it says the name of the song and has the moving bar that shows the time."

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

"The time, the time, oh! Here! I think I found it."

_I'm all alone_

"Arrows on the left. Making some half-assed long circle thing."

_Isn't someone missing me? _

"These one aren't a circle, they're—"

_Please, please, forgive me_

"Your other left."

_But I won't be home again_

"I've only got one left."

_I know what you do to yourself_

"Antonio. Seriously."

_I breathe deep and cry out_

"What?" Antonio looked around on his screen until he found the other set of arrows. "Oh! I was looking on the wrong side, you're right. Sorry."

_"Isn't something missing? _

"Do the arrows have a one in the corner?"

_Isn't someone missing me?" _

"Yeah."

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

"Click it." Antonio did. "Now turn that fucking song off."

_You won't try fo_

Antonio clicked the next arrow and lo and behold, it changed to another song!

"Lovino, it worked! You're the best!"

"Damn right I am." Antonio grinned and flopped back onto his bed, this time in a far more cheerful fashion.

_I know you want me_

"I've missed you so much! How's your trip? Do you miss me?"

_I made it obvious that I want you too_

"I guess." Antonio could hear the blush. He really could. "You wouldn't have to miss me if you'd fucking call the number I gave you, though."

_So put it on me_

"I've been texting you every day!" Just not to the right place. Obviously.

_Let's remove the space between me and you_

"And I'm sure when I get back into town your thousands of whiny messages about how I'm not texting you back will keep me entertained for hours."

_Now rock your body_

"There's a few voicemails too."

_Damn I like the way that you move_

"Voicemails."

_So give it to me, oh oooohh.. _.

"I only got cut off a couple times though! Most of them are different calls!"

_Cause I already know what you wanna do_

"I don't even. Ugh." Another voice, a woman's voice, called Lovino's name in the background and said something else, but Antonio couldn't make out what was being said. "My aunt needs her phone back. If you can't figure out how to call her, your sister apparently got all the brains in the family. Ask her to do it for you."

_Here's the situation_

"I know how to use the phone, Lovino."

_Been to every nation_

"I'll believe it when I see it."

_Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do_

"I really do!"

_You know my motivation_

"Whatever. Call me in an hour. And turn your stupid music off, it's all awful."

_Given my reputation_

"It's not— Hello?" Antonio sighed and hung up the phone when all that answered back was the dial tone. He looked over at the clock, making note of the time so he'd know when his hour of being Lovinoless once again was up. The minute it was, he knew he'd already have the number dialed and ready to call his sweet, dear Lovino.

_Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude_

Just as soon as he found his sister and got said number from her.

_But tonight I'm loving you  
Oh you know  
That tonight I'm loving you  
Oh you know  
That tonight I'm loving you  
Oh you know  
That tonight I'm loving you  
Oh you know_


End file.
